


One Last Time

by bluetoast



Series: Not Exactly the Stuff of Fairy Tales [2]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Car Accidents, Child Abuse, Child Loss, Child Murder, Child Neglect, F/M, Foster Care, Foster Parents, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Infertility, Jyn Erso Needs A Hug, Kid Fic, Rey Needs A Hug, Starting Over
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 09:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13120581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluetoast/pseuds/bluetoast
Summary: Ten years of taking in foster children has left Jyn Erso Andor heartbroken with nearly every placement. She told herself she was done with it; but there's one last child, one last time - and a trip to the hospital to meet Rey Jakku.Written for HC Bingo - stranded / survival scenario





	One Last Time

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags for possible triggers.

When Jyn Erso was told at sixteen she wouldn't be able to have children, she was utterly shocked. More for the fact her doctor was telling her this when she was still in high school and having kids wasn't even on her radar. Babies were something teenagers weren't supposed to have, it was the nineteen-eighties, not the nineteen-forties. Her second thought was the doctor was an idiot, because clearly, just as there were scores of cats and dogs in search of a home, so too, were hundreds, thousands, if not millions of kids who needed parents. 

By the time she was twenty, she resolved she was going to welcome any child in need of a home. She'd go all the way to China or Timbuktu if needs be. But why leave the country when there were kids here who needed parents? It was a logical sort of conclusion, formed when she was getting ready to head off to graduate school and earn her Master's, but it wasn't something she was ready to do; but it was one of her long term goals. Then her long-time college boyfriend dumped her after he started talking marriage and she told him about her malfunctioning reproductive system which could do little more than punch her once a month to remind her she still had one.

She was twenty-four when Cassian Andor swept into her life, at the city's annual cultural festival. He was helping his grandmother and her church friends serve up the most amazing tamales she had ever eaten. She was on her third time through the line when Grandmother Andor insisted on Jyn giving her her phone number, saying she was perfect for her grandson. She'd been so enthralled with the food she hadn't given the young shaggy haired man more than a fleeting glance, but then he smiled at her, looking for all this world like a puppy and she didn't hesitate.

Cassian spent half of their first date apologizing for his crazy grandmother, and she laughed it off, utterly delighted at the idea of having such a luxury. However, as she'd already gotten the approval of his family matriarch, for their second date, she invited him to dinner at her house, and accidentally-on purpose forgot to mention her parents would also be there.

It'd didn't take Jyn long to figure out why everyone said the two of them worked perfectly. She kept him grounded and he kept her dreaming. 

When they got married, everything had been going so well – for both of them. Both of them with excellent jobs – Cassian taught history and English as a second language at Patrick Henry High, she worked as an architect from home for Sigma Group in addition to functioning as an interpreter when clients from Japan or South America were involved. They found their dream house, put everything in order, and filled out the paperwork to become foster parents, hoping to eventually adopt.

Almost eleven years ago. It all started eleven years ago – and in the decade of what should have been something wonderful, there had been nothing but heartbreak.

Timothy had been the first child. He was eleven, rail thin, and so inwardly angry. He had lashed out for weeks before calming down; realizing there was nothing in the Andor household to harm him. He'd leveled off, started to come out of his shell, and was looking forward to middle school at the end of the summer when the social workers came and took him away, to return him to his biological father, who lived on the other side of the country.

Jyn and Cassian never heard from him again.

Angela was a two month old baby. The only baby social services ever put into the Andor's care. She was tiny, helpless and had been born addicted to crack. Certainly, such a wicked crime perpetuated on such an innocent person should have been enough to keep her away from those who would harm her. Then Angela's biological mother found some lawyer who must have sold his morals and heart to pay off his student loans. Rather than avoid trouble, social services took Angela away and returned her to that... _bitch_. Two years later, Jyn had to hear about the sweet child dying at the hands of the vile woman who did not deserve her in meth-induced fit on the news and she herself had nearly screamed the house down in pure rage.

Cindy and Joshua came as a pair. Nine and three, the department hadn't wanted to separate them, and she and Cassian were delighted to let the two of them into their home. They stayed the longest – seven months. It had been a dream time; full of birthday parties, family gatherings and school functions. She and Cassian were getting ready to start filing the paperwork to formally adopt the two of them when, exactly like before, a relation showed up to take them away. 

Meghan, aged twelve, stayed only a season, the Andor home a temporary sanctuary while her famous and ridiculously wealthy parents tore into one another in a spectacular divorce battle which, had not the OJ Simpson trial been in full swing, been all over the news. She still sent cards to them every Christmas, and was currently working on college applications. 

It was strange the only one still in contact with her and Cassian was the one they knew they were never going to be able to keep.

The next five children – Mark, Hannah, Keith, Jenna and Peter tended to run together when Jyn tried to think about them. They arrived, they unpacked, they settled in – and like a fucked up comedy, social services would show up and take them away with hardly an explanation. Whatever the joke was, it wasn't funny. These were kids who needed homes, not to be shuffled from place to place like an ugly heirloom no one wants, but no one can stand to give away. 

Photographs of all ten children were tucked away in box buried in Jyn's sweater drawer. 

Getting a phone call from social services six days before Christmas wasn't exactly something Jyn was planning on, or expecting. But it was strange out the dance of what came before they met the child in question was automatic. Cassian called his grandmother, who could round up at least two weeks worth of clothing for a child of any age in an hour. He then went to Target for essentials – socks, underclothes, hairbrush – and in this case, some hairbands. For her part, she put fresh sheets on the bed in one of the spare rooms, dusted, vacuumed, and then called her parents.

Now, standing outside of a room in the pediatric ward of Westbrooke Hospital, she steeled herself up for the battle she knew was coming which she always lost. Getting attached. Every child had come and gone from her life shattered her heart more and more. “One last time.” she whispered to herself and stepped quietly into the room, noting the first bed was empty and unmade. She went over to the curtain and looked around it, and her heart swelled at the sight of the tiny girl with brown hair hugging a stuffed lion. “Hi.” 

The girl looked up, sniffling. “I don't want another shot.” With bandages around her arms, a cut across the side of her face, and a purplish bruise barely visible from the collar of her gown, one would never think she'd been in a car wreck.

“I'm not going to give you a shot.” She glanced behind her to see Cassian standing in the doorway with the social worker, Moira, wasn't it?, and then back at the girl. “May I come in?” 

She nodded and Jyn slipped over to the chair by bed, sitting down. “I never liked shots either.” She pulled a tissue from the box on the table and handed it towards her. “Need this?” 

“Thank you.” The girl took it, wiping her face. “Are you the pie crystal? Molly said they might be sending a pie crystal to talk to me.” She worried her bottom lip. “She said the pie crystal might help... my mommy and daddy were hurt too bad in the car crash, so they can't take care of me anymore and the pie crystal was going to talk to me about, but I don't want to talk about it.”

“Pie crystal?” Jyn frowned, “A psychiatrist? No, I'm not her either.” She eased her face back into a smile. “My name's Jyn. What's yours?” 

“Rey Jakku.” She tilted her head to the side, “you're pretty.” 

“So are you.” Her smile became more certain as the girl went pink. “Who's your friend there?” She indicated the lion.

“This is Ben.” She held the animal up. “He was here when I woke up. I named him after the boy who found me in his backyard.” 

Jyn reached out and shook the right paw of the animal. “It's nice too meet you, Ben. I'm glad to see Rey has such brave and handsome company.” 

Rey pulled the lion back, pressing his mouth to her ear, and looked away, nodding slightly then back at her. “Ben says you seem like a very nice lady, but he wants to know what you're doing here.” 

“Well...” She started to speak when the curtain was pushed aside and Cassian came in with the social worker.

“Hi, Ms Moira.” Rey hugged the lion tightly, then glanced at Cassian. “Your face is almost as hairy as Ben's!”

Jyn was barely able to cover her snort. 

“Rey,” Moira went to the other side of the bed. “This is Mrs and Mr. Andor. Remember when I told you we were expecting some special visitors?”

The girl gave the woman a look so condescending, it was hard for Jyn to keep a straight face. “Yes I remember. I've five, not stupid.” 

Cassian covered his laugh with a cough. “No one is saying you're stupid, Rey.” He came over and stood behind Jyn, resting his hands on her shoulders. “It's just not all little girls are as smart as you are.” 

Rey's eyes widened for a moment, and she turned the lion's face towards hers. “Did you hear what Mr Cassian said Ben? He said I'm smart!” 

In that instant, Jyn was caught forever; if anyone tried to take Rey from her, she'd tear the world down to stop them. 

*

Rey lay awake, listening to the sounds of the room and the rest of the ward beyond the door she couldn't see. On the other side of the curtain, her roommate whimpered in her sleep, and then settled. Jyn told her she just had to spend one more night here, and she and Cassian would come again tomorrow, and they would take her to their home. 

It was such a strange thing; yesterday she had parents and today, she didn't. She knew about death of course. Dead was what happened to lightning bugs she caught in the summer and animals who got hit by cars. People died too, because when she asked about her grandparents once Mommy said all of Rey's died before she was born. Now Mommy and Daddy were dead too. 

And she felt nothing.

Nothing was scarier than something. 

Shouldn't she be sad? 

Well, yes, she was sad. But it seemed so hard to cry. She'd cried at first – and then it was like flipping a switch. Jyn said the word for how she was feeling was numb. Numb was what happened when there was too much to feel and your brain shut down so your body can process everything before you could start feeling anything. 

The girl in the next room whimpered again, and Rey wondered if she was having a nightmare. She pressed her face into Ben's mane, counting the footsteps of someone in the hallway. 

“Code green, ICU.” A voice overhead paged. “Code green, ICU.” 

What was a code green?

“Don't fake snore when they check on you.” 

“Huh?” She lifted her head and saw the girl from the other side of the curtain looking in at her. 

“The nurses check on us every fifteen minutes. If you're going to pretend to be asleep, don't snore.” She grimaced, “They'll know and then they give you a sedative.” She was older than Rey by several years, and unlike her, was wearing pajamas she must have brought from home. “that's a drug to put you to sleep.” She closed the curtain and there was a rustle as she got back into bed.

Rey sighed softly. “Thank you.” She closed her eyes, keeping her grip tight on Ben. She hoped the boy who found her got band-aides for his knuckles. She could remember seeing them, all red and kind of gross looking. He didn't hurt them on her daddy's car, she was certain. He merely told her to tell her mommy the blood on her dress was his if she asked. 

She didn't know what happened to her sparkly dress. 

Mommy wasn't here to get angry with her. 

Neither was Daddy.

When she asked the nurses, they merely shook their heads, told her it wasn't important. They must not have understood how important it was for her to keep track of her dress. Well, she couldn't be blamed if she'd had the dress when they took her from the car and when she woke up, it was gone. No one else understood. The boy hadn't been there too explain. 

It wasn't his fault either. 

She tightened her grip on her lion, rubbing her cheek against the soft fur. Maybe Jyn and Cassian would let her have a nightlight when she went to their house. Mommy and Daddy had told her five was too old to be scared of the dark. Rey wanted to be brave, and she wasn't exactly scared of the dark. It was the things hiding in the dark that scared her. “You'll scare the monsters away, right Ben?” She whispered to the animal as she drifted on into a blessedly dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi! on Tumblr @amilyn-lovegood


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